Fragments

That Familiar Old Vision

I remembered saying this year is gonna be a good one in the first months of the year. Before I even got warmed up to prepare for what that were gonna come, I wanted to take those words back immediately.

Pausing, I ain't what I was as I had remembered, same goes for the people around me. Most of my friends are already out of school, out into the world, boys finally learning to what it really takes to be alone on the outside. No longer is now the time to be sitting in the study area, making fun of our own friends, sticking paper turtles on people's backs, throwing chalks at Mr. Chandra when he had his back on us. We were still concerned about if the girl from the other class feel about us, what time lessons gonna end, grumbling and complaining about spending so much time in school, getting scolded for not handing in homeworks...

Not too long after, we all have very different situations sitting on our laps. Money, our dads, education, employment, crossing our eyes when we're gonna get lifetime membership to the Bachelor's Club. Even when we don't say it, sometimes it seems so obvious that a part of us all longs to head back to other class, just to steal a look at her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fair share

The older we get, it seems even harder to be convinced that the world is fair. Whenever we go out for a drink, hang out somewhere, a close friend of mine would always, never failed to be being made fun of. While it's hard to explain why, everyone of us takes turn to poke at him, call him names and stuff, put him down. In an odd way, he has my admiration - he's endured such "insults" for us for close to a decade already, and we all are still pretty close. If I were him, I wouldn't know how I would be able to take it. Being him, he probably could be wondering why is it that we'll always have something to say about him? Maybe he would have then blamed himself for his incompetence, be it real or not. If he took it personally, perhaps he would have left us long ago. Good thing he didn't take our insults personally, neither did we all mean to put him down - it was all childish fun. At least I think he didn't.

On fairness, what then, is the most appropriate thing to do in this world where nothing is fair? Do we grab our own share and be happy with it? Or do we learn to share the spoils with our friends, stay close, and wait in our trenches? Or pretend to surrender, then machinegun at the enemies, getting victory any way that makes it possible?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sector E

Personally, these recents months of the year had deafen my ears to artillery, and getting used to it is probably the best thing to do for now. At 0900hrs, I am gonna have to take down sector E alone. No one else can do it but me; I'm not sure what it will take, it's definitely not going to be easy. It's my own war now, if I don't do it, no one can. If I choose not to do it, victory would never come. Hiding in my foxhole is a thing of the past, I've have to go now...